Why I want to be buried with my glasses on

In my previous post I remarked on the breast cancer pink ribbons on the waistband of my new underwear. Well upon further examination today I realized that they are not pink ribbons at all! There are indeed pink marks on the waistband, but they are the letters “jms,” not ribbons. Great, not only do I wear granny panties, but I am going blind. I hate not being able to see things correctly without my contacts or glasses. Although not wearing them has made for some pretty funny stories.

Here is one of my favorites:

A couple of years ago we were having problems with our dishwasher. It wasn’t draining. My dad took off the bottom part of the dishwasher to get at the hose that was clogged so he could snake it. Halfway through the repair he left to go to Utah with my mom. Well one morning while they were gone I got up and went into the kitchen and saw that there was what appeared to be little mice droppings in front of the dishwasher at its gaping hole at the bottom. I called my dad, waking him up, and demanding that he return home to kill the mouse. For some silly reason he did not share the same urgency I did for him to return and deal with the rodent. J He gave me a couple of options on how to deal with it. None of which I felt were appropriate. As I was contemplating which of the guys in the singles ward were capable of dealing with this emergency and not passing out, I gave up and left the kitchen, never to return. That is never to return until it had been burned down and re-built, leaving no trace of the trespasser or his crime. But eventually my stomach got the better of me and I entered the kitchen with trepidation and ironically, my glasses on. I glanced in the direction of the crime scene and noticed that it didn’t look quite like it did early that morning. There was no mouse poop! They were just the black screws that my dad left on the floor after removing the bottom panel from the dishwasher. I called my father who was grateful that he didn’t cut his trip short for his hysterical daughter. Ah the joys of being blind.

Lily